I'm bad at keeping up on a blog, but I'm great at finishing projects!

Update: I moved (just across town to get the Doodle into her old school district), I started dating a wonderful man and I got busy (see also : lazy) and stopped getting my daily Jillian ass kicking shred. I moved where I no longer have easy access to a treadmill and my motivation has gone into other things such as home upkeep, parenting and DIY projects!!! As I will tell you about here now.

The tree is up - The house is decorated - The presents are wrapped and under the tree.

I am so ahead of schedule!

In the interest of getting something for everyone and not having the funds to spend more than about $3 on each person I decided to make homemade gifts with love.....

All You need is cheap solid colored coffee mugs - I got mine at the dollar tree because they were bigger and I wanted them all to match - They certainly do not have to. Plus the bigger ones can be used for soup and other things as well. Thrifts stores sell them 25¢ to 50¢ a piece.

  I got vinyl letters from Walmart - You can find all kinds of different alphabet stickers at Hobby Lobby, Michael's and other craft stores, but they are more expensive and you can't really peel and re stick like you can with the vinyl kind. (Other ways to do this is to cut your stencil into contact paper, stick on and paint OR stencil your letters on with graphite tracing paper and free-hand with your paint marker. I find that my freehand SUCKS so this was the easiest, cheapest and least time consuming way for me to go about this particular project.)

Outline your letter.

 Peel it off. There may be some paint residue that has gotten under the vinyl - Don't worry about it, it will look fine when you are done.

 Draw lines through or color in your letter. Design it however you wish...

 I free-handed some holly on mine to make them them more "Christmas-y"
Bake the mugs in the oven (a.k.a. redneck kiln) at 300 for about an a half hour to an hour to set the paint so that it be permanent.

 Now for the filling: I bought holiday recipe cards and I wrote the recipe for a Brownie in a mug - Just another thing they can do with their personalized mug. (I am going to mix the dry ingredients for this and put it in the cup attached to these cards.) My handwriting is horrendous, but I thought typing would make this gift a little impersonal and Personal is totally what I am going for.

 The Doodle made baggies of Peppermint Hot Cocoa (I wanted to make homemade hot chocolate, but I went the lazy route and got Swiss Miss) We put two packets of cocoa mix (because they are larger mugs), threw in a handful of mini marshmallows and a soft peppermint stick. I chose soft sticks because they are larger and will melt into the cocoa faster when the gift recipients are stirring with it.

 Doodle bug tied the bags with ribbon and curled. I bought a pack of 12 small plastic ornaments for $1 (Again Dollar Tree - LOVE THAT PLACE!) We used a Sharpie pen and wrote the To: and From: on the ornaments and attached to the bags as name tags.

 Finished Product: (Minus the brownie mix that I am going to add) I threw a little chocolate snowman in to add some cuteness.

 

 Total cost: $40 - That's $3.33 a piece.

Dollar Tree: $21

12 Cups: $12

Pack 12 ornaments for name tags: $1

2 packs of 6 chocolate snowmen : $2

Hot cocoa mix 4 : $4

Mini marshmallows : $1

Package of 12 peppermint sticks: $1

Walmart: $4

2" Vinyl Stick letters : $3.74

3 Porcelain Paint Markers $4.92 each: $14.85
Buy paint markers here.

These are so awesome I stayed up last night until after midnight making them and I wake up at 6am. Anyone that knows me will tell you that I love my sleep and anything less than 8 hours makes me a USELESS and CRANKY  See You Next Tuesday, but for some reason I am in a great mood and full of energy today. I am so excited to go home and finish the rest of them tonight! Yay!

Fairytales...Fact or Fiction?

Do I have to be Cinderella to believe in the fairytale?

I can certainly be enveloped in the web of fantasy being woven, but then reality always comes a knockin' and brings me to my senses. Must I ignore all sense of logic and reality to allow myself to be swept away or can I find a balance?

My depiction of a balanced love - one part fantasy, one part reality

I suppose that my life just isn't built to nurture an environment conductive for romance and the like. Perhaps I'm just not hardwired to accept it....or maybe it is simply my unique - I say unique rather than odd to make me feel less inferior - flow of emotion, or lack thereof.

Although significant others in my past have accused me of being "emotionally unavailable" - one went so far as to use the term "emotionally bankrupt" - that is simply not true. These statements confused me really because I have an entire gamet of emotion. I know this, because I feel them. My emotions are unique so much as how I express them (or do not as the case may be).

The Best Friend and I agree that I must have a small "Y" chromosome hanging out in my DNA. I am convinced at times that I would have done better as a male, socially speaking.

In my experience men are really bad at controlling their emotions. Me? I cry upwards of 4 times annually. I've seen men that cry frequently and put me to shame, which is supposed to be a female trait. We females are supposed to be the emotional gender. The emotional men that I've known only make me feel less like a female. Or what we think a female should be like.

I actually asked a few female friends if they could teach me to be more feminine. I asked for girl lessons, begging "Please, teach me how to be a girl." They laugh because 95% of what comes out of my mouth is a joke...but there is almost always truth to joking. Maybe the fantasy just can't happen to a lady that doesn't act like one. I never thought I'd say this, but I am sick of being just one of the guys.

For instance, I had (have still, let's just be honest in the quest to better ourselves) a huge crush on a friend of mine. He's so used to me being as I am that whenever he introduces me to another friend of his and they slip up and say something that should not be laid upon the ears of a lady and they try to apologize - he stops them to say "Oh, no. You don't have to worry about offending her, she's just like a guy so it's cool."

I don't really want to be "cool" anymore, dammit.

I want to be swept off of my feet - if that is possible. I want to feel the earth move below me - I've heard it talked about. Must I re-invent myself to have that possibility? Am I lying to myself when I say that the right guy will come along and see the better part of me on his own? That he will want me badly enough to find it, see it and love me because of or in spite of it. Is my "Love me, love all of me" philosophy unattainable?

I don't consider myself jaded. I don't place any past experience blame on someone new. I'm actually a very tolerant (in the true definition of the word) and open person. I think that I may have meant it at one time, but now I'm just trying to convince myself that finding someone to share my life with, finding someone to - dare I say it - love is last on my priority list. It somehow creeped up to the list when I wasn't paying attention.

I know I have work to do to be the person that I want to be. I will take it all one step at a time. I won't see emotion as weakness. A friend told me today that your tears do not diminish your strength and I will try to rewire myself to believe that.

Although I'm not quite sure yet that I believe in the fairy tale, I recognize what it is and I am open to allowing myself to believe in the possibility that it does exist  - And that is a pretty good place to start.